The Gurdon Odyssey

Some days ago, we decided it would be a smashing idea 
to head to Gurdon to see the lights. After waiting
2 hours for Fitz to show up, I got tired of waiting
and took 4 people in my car and left. I deftly avoided
the large amounts of glass strewn across the street
where we'd previously drug a monitor behind Drew's
truck to it's doom, and proceeded to drive to Gurdon.

Thirty minutes or so later, the group still at Benton
calls and tells us they're leaving with Fitz in tow
and that we should wait for them at the tracks-
fat chance of that happening. My group arrives, parks,
and proceeds to walk down the tracks for about 45 minutes.
About now it is 1:35 am. Dustin gets a call, laughs,
and hangs up. I am then informed that Josh has driven
his mom's car into a big hole o mud and got stuck and
we must go help him. My group walks BACK 45 minutes,
gets BACK in my car and goes to help Josh.

By the time we arrived, the following had transpired...
Josh tried to go forward once he was stuck, but it didn't
work so good. Clint then suggested he put it in reverse
and try to back out only for a moment so he doesn't get
stuck in deeper. Josh proceeds to put it in reverse and
put the pedal on the floor for almost a minute, placing him
just above the "totally screwed" level in the mud. Then Clint
and someone else get out and try helplessly to push the car
out of the mud...to no avail whatsoever. By this time,
everyone is out of the car besides Josh. The funny thing
about Josh's car is that when the last door shuts, they all lock...
Josh got out, with the car on and in gear, with the keys in it,
with the headlights on...and shuts the door and they all lock.
Then two random hicks stoned out of their minds show up and try to GTA3
Josh's car. Unfortunately they have no clue where they even are
so they don't help so much. Drew tears a panel off the car for no
apparent reason.

Then I show up. Dustin previously told me he had to be somewhere
at 4:30 am. I then got tired of watching this display of stupidity
and left. Around 3 am, my group gets home and passes out. Drew and
Micheal show up around 4 something. All this time, Josh stayed with
his car and never broke the window, even though his mom said he
should. Drew eventually went back and pulled the car out by
attaching a chain to the back axle (He's a WINNER!) and then refueled
and jumped the car. All said and done, everybody got back to Benton
somehow around 7 am.

So there you have it- what was supposed to be a carefree journey of fun
and cherry pie turned out to be a brutal display of rape and confusion.

-The Andy