Gather 'round my friends, and hear for yourselves
the mournful tale of how my faithful plastic car
was killed.  Our story begins, on a cold, dark,
and rainy night from long ago...

Myself, Willis, and Cameron had piled into my
trusty black saturn and I'd driven us over to Family
Video to browse around a bit.  Well, we finally decided
to leave, after less than five minutes, basically
rendering this entire trip pointless in the first place.
I got in the driver's side, to drive of course (for the sake
of the story guys), Willis got in the back middle seat, and Cameron
rode shotgun next to me.
We turned left on the access road and went back towards my house
(in those long-ago times, the access roads still went both ways, or that
is to say that the roads themselves actually went anywhere, but so much
as that the cars that drove on them (for the sake of the story))...).
As we drove by Hickory Square, Cameron pointed out that the sign said
Hick  y  quare because some lights were out.  I looked, and then
looked forward again.  At this point, Cameron must've been thinking
"Righto mate, I think this'd be an exceeding ripper time to scratch
my balls" and he proceeded to do so.
I decided I didn't really want to observe this, and thus turned to 
look out the window.  When I looked back ahead, there was a 
red jeep stopped in front of me turning left (like a slut)
into Hickory Square.  Everything slowed down into bullet time
and I was just able to get off "Ohhhhhhhh Fuuuuuuu-" and then
we hit the guy right then.

Comming Soon To A Site Near You-- The Night My Plastic Car Died: Part II