Horrible Disease #187

Chronic Blinking Disease

This terrifying disease of the eyes first arose in the
central jungle reigions of Africa (Don't they all...) among
the local populace.  This uncurable disease was perhaps
brought across the species barrier by a local ritual
involving sex with orangotans.  However, scientists
are still unsure as to the validity of this theory,
claiming it could have also come from monkeys or
lemurs.  Chronic Blinking Disease is a silent killer
unless it is treated (it cannot be treated) immediately
by doctors specifically trained (there aren't any) to
cure this disease (it can't be cured).  Initally,
a victim infected with Chronic Blinking Disease will
show signs of a slight annoyance in their eyes and
may be heard to say "I've got something in my eye"
much more frequently then normal (most African natives
who contracted the disease died because we couldn't 
translate ZZfdjeieieeanaa aseened !! djfjfieaa?!** into
English).  After one day of only a slight annoyance in
the left or right eye, the victim will begin to see
horrifyingly realistic hallucinations such as
Fat Albert doing the belly dance and large irate gerbils in every
day situations where they might only see a squirrel
or perhaps another person.  In the third day of infection,
victims will experience a cringing physical pain every time
they blink.  Hallucinations may or may not increase in
intensity at this time.  In the fourth day, the unberable pain
of Chronic Blinking disease has intensified and victims are
well into a state of dementia and have developed and advanced
state of the munchies.  Victims have never survived past the
fourth day before, most inevitably die from overeating
or EHS (Exploding Head Syndrome).  As of this writing, there
are no known cures for CBD, so the best course of action
to take is to just stay away from people who appear to
have any of the above symptoms of CBD.  There are, thankfully,
many tried and true techniques to avoid contracting CBD yourself.
Abstain from having sex with orangotans, I know it can be very tempting
at times, but restrain yourself man!  If you are in a bar
and a lemur begins "comming on" to you, kindly buy it a drink
and say you're married, but do NOT encourage the lemur or you
may quickly find yourself lemur-ed and with CBD.

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end of report